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Elliot Spitzer: Governor by Day, John by Night
by: Dark Wraith
New York Governor Elliot Spitzer is expected to announce his resignation in the wake of reports that he had been a client of a prostitution service under federal investigation. Although The New York Times initially reported the story as if Spitzer was actually involved as a principal of the criminal enterprise, federal investigators are now indicating that initial suspicions that Spitzer was taking bribes from a company called QAT (pronounced "cat") were the result of money transfers he had made to buy sex from the company's dba, Emperors Club, which charges clients an hourly rate of between $1,000 and $5,500.That's right: Men pay this prostitution service anywhere from a grand to fifty-five hundred for every hour they have with an Emperors Club prostitute.
Once more for the record: Rich men are paying one thousand to five thousand five hundred dollars per hour for butt, a rate that would compel any normal man, regardless of how desperate he was, to opt instead to beat his own meat like it owed back rent.
But Elliot Spitzer paid it (along with room service, liquor, cab fare, and train tickets), as apparently did other men, given that the Governor is identified in the government's criminal complaint as "Client 9." According to the Associated Press, Spitzer is currently linked to at least one session with a sex worker, an encounter that lasted four hours. No indication has yet been given as to whether the entirety of that four hours was devoted to sexual intercourse, a prospect that would go a long way toward explaining his lean, healthy appearance and apparently continued dedication from his wife, who was by his side when he made a rather vague announcement on Monday of his legal problems. His three teenage daughters were not at the news conference, where he took no questions and seemed, for one reason or another, to be contrite.
More news about clean-cut governors, their ladies of ill repute, and four-hour sex sessions with room service later here at Dark Wraith Publishing.
note to the gov: dude. if it's in a federal wiretap it's not a private or personal matter any longer. if it was a crime for the people you prosecuted, it's more than a sin for you. it's a crime. take your lumps. it starts with resignation.