Another damn nightmare!

by: Father Tyme

Dateline November 7, 2012: Fox News

In what can only be described as the unimaginable, 33 Democrats were elected to the U.S. Senate by voters yesterday bringing the total number to 99 Democrats and 1 Republican. The lone Republican is Olympia Snowe.

An equally unbelievable vote in the House put the total number of Democrats at 434 with Michelle Bachmann the lone Conservative.

Democratic leaders gathered today to discuss sweeping changes to laws for the betterment of our Nation.

On the agenda:
Full free health coverage for all Americans.
Guaranteed free college education for any American who wants to go to school.
Food to be provided for any who can’t afford it.
Free heat and power for all citizens between October and March of every year.
100% employment through laws making outsourcing illegal.
Lower taxes on people making less than $50,000 annually and increased taxes on those making over $500,000.
Complete regulation of banking, insurance and Wall Street.
A government/public option corporation to provide competition for gas at 19 cents per gallon.

A number of other Humane issues have also been proposed by the more progressives in the House and Senate.

Today President Obama, Speaker Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Reid gave a news conference to discuss the proposed upcoming legislation.

Senator Reid: First, I want to say how pleased we are that America has shown its confidence in our system.

Speaker Pelosi: I second that Senator Reid. And I’d like to add that we in the House will do everything in our power to make those promises come true.

Reid: Yes, Madam Speaker. We in the Senate couldn’t agree with you more. We pledge to work with this mandate and President Obama to make this country as great as it used to be.

Pelosi: We’ll take a few questions from the press now. Yes, Katie?

Katie: With this incredible majority, how long will it take to get these things passed?

Pelosi: Well, you have to understand the political process. First there’ll be proposals, then debate, then committees, then more debate. Amendments will be added to the bills. More debate will take place then preliminary votes. Representatives will then get to speak on the various amendments to the bills…

Reid: Let me add, Katie, that a similar process will occur in the Senate. We’ll have a number of committees decide how to proceed with the bills we get from the house. Of course, we’ll initiate our own bills, debate and vote on those and see if the house agrees.
Timetables are often difficult what with holidays, vacations and emergencies but we’ll get through them.

Pelosi: That’s right Senator Reid. The bills will then go to the President for signing.

President Obama: Katie. First off. Effective legislation isn’t as easy to come by as some in the press report. Most of these bills will have a tough time in both the House and Senate. Even with the overwhelming number of Democrats, we need to show the American people that we’re with them ALL. The best way to do that, in my opinion, is to be fair and bi-partisan. We’ll work with the Democrats and in particular Representative Bachmann in the House and Snowe in the Senate to try to reach some sort of fair compromise on anything they might object to. Also, may I add, the input from Senators Baucus and Conrad, Representatives Stupak and Cooper and other House Blue Dogs, Southern House and Senate Democrats, Democrats for Reagan, members of the Religious Right and C Street Family Members will be needed to insure the fairness Americans have come to expect.
According to Senator Reid, it may take 90 votes to get a veto-proof bill passed.
But I have every confidence in the House and Senate and also feel that members of my cabinet, Palin, Limbaugh, Beck and Lieberman will be there to offer bi-partisan suggestions.

Katie: So, Mr. President, when DO you expect meaningful legislation?

Obama: Katie. These things can’t be rushed. It would be foolish to jump into things too fast. We need to look at how things will shake out first. But to answer your question, I expect first drafts of the various bills will take a couple of years. It may even be necessary to change some laws to allow the American people to vote on these proposals, and have the Supreme Court uphold the new laws in order to show true bi-partisanship. Of course, the House and Senate would provide committees to look into setting up laws to govern the actual voting procedure, to make sure people know it’s fair. So a short answer would be that I expect these to come to some varied fruition during my third term. Thank you all. And God Bless America.

(Applause)